Gone
by beatl394
Summary: (Very) short story in which great tragedy strikes the team. Possible trigger warning, as well as character death.


Ziva David was a survivor. The challenges she had brushed off would have destroyed anyone else, so everyone looked up to her at NCIS, even Gibbs. But even survivors can be destroyed. When Saleem Ulman's companions decided that they needed revenge, she was their first target. The bomb they had attached to her car exploded while she was at a stoplight three blocks from her house. Witnesses later described it as "coming out of nowhere", but investigation later showed that it had come from somewhere-directly under the driver seat. She never stood a chance.

The DNA came back later, long after they knew it was her. Red mini cooper destroyed on her morning route, no Ziva at work. No answer on her phone, nobody in her apartment. There wasn't any question about it. But the team still clung to the hope of "what if". Abby insisted on doing the DNA tests over and over, until Gibbs stepped in. He never said a word, just held her and guided her to his car. Even at his house, she was too sad to cry. She sat on the couch with a dead expression. "It's going to be okay," Gibbs said. "Everything is going to be okay." "Liar," thought Abby. But she nodded and sat back, so Gibbs walked away and left her alone. The rest of the afternoon se spent wishing with every ounce of her being that it had been her in that car instead of Ziva. She didn't notice that Gibbs had gone to the basement. And she never realized that he was wishing the very same thing.

Ducky had slipped out after he had heard the news. He was sitting in his kitchen, but he didn't hear the teapot whistling. Photo albums had more meaning to him than cell phone pictures, so he had collected the books from over the years he knew her and was looking at every picture she was in. "Ah, my dear. It should have been you attending my funeral, not the other way around." He flipped a page. "Maybe, wherever you are now, you'll meet Kaitlin. And you'll see Jenny again.. Oh, why is it so? I'm naming friends that should have lived to mourn my death. Instead, they'll be waiting to welcome me on the other side!" He closed the album, and got up to make a cup of tea.

The funeral was simple and small, because the team was all the family that Ziva had. As everyone filed past the coffin, some whispered their final farewells to the Israeli. Tony paused a bit longer than the rest. "Ziva." A tear rolled down his cheek and landed on the mahogany, next to his hand. "What part of 'couldn't live without you' didn't you understand? I don't know where you are right now, but I need you here. I can't do this without you." He put his hand back in his pocket and moved to his seat. The rest of the ceremony was a blur for him, and before he knew it, he had a handful of dirt to throw in the grave. He stared at the coffin in the ground. "Be'karov, neshama sheli." He released the dirt, and turned away.

Anthony DiNozzo went home. He walked to his car, drove home, and hurt. Not the hurt where a bit of crying makes it all better, but the hurt of not wanting to exist. To disappear and never return. There wasn't anything he could do except sit at his table and let the tears come. After a while, he stood and retrieved a pill bottle. He opened it and shook out the capsules onto the table. Ziva wouldn't want him to do this. She would pull herself together and deal with the emotions later, a little at a time. She was strong, stronger than even she knew. Ziva would have started planning how to get back at whoever had hurt her family. He had thought of that, when she was missing in Somalia. His plan then was foolproof. He either killed the terrorists, or got killed himself. But then she was there, and the realization of how much he didn't want to die had rushed over him. She wasn't going to be here this time. There was revenge to get, but he didn't want it. How could he remain in the world that had taken her from him? She didn't deserve to watch him from wherever she was now, carrying on his life. She was going to be his life. If only he had acted sooner! They had never even gotten to go on a date. She'd never get to go on another date at all, whether if it was with him or not. He'd never be able to question her all day about who her date was again. No more flirting in the small hours of the morning when the paperwork got boring. Looking up and catching her eye, seeing her smile, was the only reason he didn't fall asleep in his files. Another wave of sadness came over him, and his hand closed on the pills. "I'm sorry, Ziva." Then they were gone, and a moment later, so was he.

He knew nothing. Everything was dark chaos, and he was part of it. Coming from nowhere, going nowhere. He floated on aimlessly until he came to rest on something. He didn't open his eyes to see it. There was a small rustling sound coming from next to him.

"Hi, Tony," said Ziva.


End file.
